Tj finally eats monkey.

(10.12.10)
Well it finally happened. I finally slipped up and ate a five fingered animal. No, it was not human, it was a monkey. And I gotta tell you monkey is not as bad as porcupine but it is not as good as poop. Here is how I was done under by the monkey meat. I was famished, I had been giving a test all day, catching cheaters is hungry-o work as they say, than I had some Peace Corps people out so I didn’t get lunch so finally when dinner rolls about, I am fucking starving. So I go to the cook shop (restaurant) and ask the jolly soft bodied (fat) woman what she had to eat tonight to which her response was “o nothing that could please you.” At this point a logical man would have surely said, ok well if you say so you probably are not lying, I should walk away. Thus far I have proven to be an idiot and not a logical man in my food choices, so I figured why give up on it now right when my luck could change. Anywho I ask her again and she says Pepper Soup and in my head two thoughts danced the dangerous ballet of winning over my decision making process. The logical side she said nothing to please you dude, ask her what the meat is. The idiot side: Dude you are fucking hungry and you sure as shit don’t wanna go back and burn the shit out of yourself trying to start the coal pot, and than wait another 30 minutues for the coal to be ready and than another 30 minutes to cook the food, don’t ask the meat JUST EAT! Well I got the meat and was eating a few bits of it while enjoying my soup over rice when matt came up to join me he asked what I was eating, to which I told him Pepe soup, than he asked the one god damn question I was trying not to think about until after I had eaten and the deed was done. I responded I don’t know, so matt looked left and noted the only meat that they had laying around was monkey, and that the shoulder blade in my soup looked an awful lot like a little persons. These are all things I had realized, but I was so damn hungry I was just trying to block out. Well after I knew I was eating monkey I figured why stop now, I mean I probably already got whatever parasite it’s gonna give me so I might as well eat my damn soup. So I did the only logical thing I finished like man, flipped the table over and shouted whose da bitch now monkey and walked home. I gotta say one thing I am entirely to excited about is to eat rice without rocks in it, I mean the thought of taking a huge bite of rice and not worrying about cracking the shit out of my tooth, is something I dream about, and the best news I got this rice guy in America. Dude takes out the rocks for free and sells it you, I think his name is Uncle Ben. That motherfucker has the bomb.com when it comes to rice.
Other exciting newz: When Peace Corps came to visit they also brought the long awaited and highly celebrated gas stove. Now I don’t know if this new fangled thing has hit American shores yet, seeing as America is a bit behind on technology when compared with Africa, but I gotta say I think this gas stove invention is something you are gonna wanna pick up. You don’t have to tear up plastic and get second degree burns trying to start it, and it get hot not in 30 minutes, nay not even in 20! But rather this little mother fucking thing is hot instantly! You can boil water in mere minutes I tell you! I know it sounds too good to be true, but I swear it is real, as real as the sun! Anways since this thing came along I have been eating oatmeal like a fiend, but to be honest I have been craving Cream of Wheat and I saw some in Zwedru, but didn’t buy it for some reason. This led me to make yet another fools choice, I was in my local Lebanese store and saw that he was selling some sort of barley cereal, again I leaped before I looked and bought this shit. When I got home it said it was a food for babies, to which my response was babies have great taste right, I mean anybody who shits there pants and makes someone else change it really has to know what is going on. So I started to boil some water (at light speed) and made some. After the hot water hit the barley shit, it turned an off purple. Here woulda been my first tell tale don’t eat it sign, but I pushed onwards because it was so full of nutrients, and I doubted it could be worse than monkey. So I took a bite, and for some odd reason it had the audacity to have the texture of baby food! Well all things considered it was not the worst thing I have ever eaten, so I ate a little more, but than I released it to be free in the world (threw it on the ground) and let some other thing benefit from this high in iron baby paste. I mean I think ants really need there iron,
Well that’s about all I got. I gotta get up early tomorrow and put a hard days palm wine drinking in. Life is so hard.