I didn’t think you needed to know! The headline and that line were from a movie I heard when I was walking by a videoclub one day. And the only comment I am going to make about this is you should ALWAYS tell someone if you are a cyborg, I mean that is some pertinent information, so if you are a cyborg and haven’t told everyone SHAME ON YOU!
Porcupines and children (09.16.10)
These are some nonsensicle stories that I either made up or actually happened to me these past two weeks since I left you.
Living without technology is really not all it’s cracked up to be, most specifically I need a mother fucking iPod dude. Life without good tunes is not at all bearable. However, I did it for two weeks, and not because I wanted to, but because I had no way or charging those things that needed charging, I mean I tried charming and charging them with my stunning good looks, but to be honest I think it was too powerful for them as my computer nearly exploded from too much energy. We still do not have a generator, but we did befriend a rad Lebanese dude named Rafic, who has been helping us out (namely bringing me some whiskey from Monrovia) but he also let us charge our shit at his shop which totes rules. I would like to take this time to say thanks to the American people for buying my beer last night when I was hanging out with a few of the teachers from work. Be at ease Americans! Your tax dollars are hard at work at the local African bar helping me make friends!
So last week I ate some of the worlds most dangerous game: PORCUPINE! Some woman was walking with some food on her head and I was all like “yo lady whatcha got on tops that noggin?” and she was all like “what did you say whiteman?” and I was like “what food you selling?” Well after some more small talk that I wont make you suffer through, I mean I think you get the feeling for the conversation, I found out she was selling my favorite soup, Pepper soup. I proceeded to ask her what meat was in the soup and after some discussion it was found to be a porcupine. At this point two thoughts immediately jump into my head 1. Fuck, that sounds really gross. 2. But dude how many chances are you gonna get to eat the mighty and majestic porcupine? Well needless to say the idiot side of me won out and I purchased some of the P-pine. It likes eating a spiky tire, except I think the tire might have a little better flavor, and be a smidge easier to chew. Here is a good rule for y’all: Never fucking eat that shit ass animal. Anyways at some later point I was walking through the market picking up some food and coal to cook that night and I ran across the infamous Putter. Putter is white mud that people eat. I don’t know why anyway would ever want to eat mud, seriously who the fuck eats it? I mean I bet it taste that dirt or maybe chicken. Anyways I while eating my egg sandwich later that day I was marveling at the fact that I could make a porcupine-mud sandwich, I wouldn’t ever want to, but I live in a place where I have that option. I mean go to your local Subway and order that! You fucking cant! Though I cant either because I lack the Subway to begin with.
Later that night when making dinner we ran into the small problem of we made way too many rice and beans. We made a fuck ton of rice and beans and I was going to try and power through it and eat it all because, you know, there are starving children in Africa, but than I was like fuck dude I don’t need to make myself sick eating too much, because I am in fucking Africa and those starving kids are literally right outside my door. So as a result the little kids that hang out outside my house got to eat some rice and beans. But while I was still eating my rice and beans I was thinking about how nice it would be to have a lime with my meal, so I asked a kid and they literally ran to my backyard and picked a lime from the lime tree! BOOM!
Teaching is going slow, I have both tenth grade classes for chemistry and biology (there is a little over 50 in all four classes which means I have to grade about 200 fucking papers every time I give homework or a quiz and let me tell you what really sucks, doing that shit!) Anyways they are a little bit behind of where they should be, and by a little I mean crazy far behind. To give you an idea of how far behind they are I asked them what 10 times 1000 is and the best guess I got was 8. It’s not that they are dumb by any means, it just that the war put education way far behind and that sucks. But anyways the kids or rather adults seeing as most of my students are older than me are good people and they really do want to learn so that’s cool. But I teach 3 days a week, so I mean I am just so busy that I cant even put it into words! O wait no I am not! I am not busy at all; mostly I just sit around and read all day! Though I am looking forward to November so I can start on some secondary projects as I think they will be the more helpful part of my service and also they will really cut down on the boredom.
Lets see what else is new???? O here is a fun fact: There are fucking maggots crawling out the hole in the ground (toilet) in the house. So that sucks. That’s really all I have to say about that.
O and this week I have to chaperon a high school dance! So that makes me feel awesome! Its going to be at the rocking club called the Embassy! The Embassy is the club in our small town, I think I saw six people there once. Also as a good rule of thumb, the best place to enjoy the Embassies speaker system is across the street, because they turn up there fucking speakers so loud it would give a deaf man a headache from too much noise. But rest assured friends I will be making sure there is gosh plenty room for the Holy Spirit! If there is one thing that catholic school taught me besides nuns are scary, it is always to leave room for the H-Spirit!
And to wrap it a few highlights Spaghetti is fucking delicious and the Bleard is back and here to stay! At least until mustachio march.
O here is another fun story, last night at about 4 in the morn I was outside draining the ol’ lizard and seeing as it is 4 AM in Africa its fucking pitch black! So as I am standing there doing my thing this dude walking by just says hello. THIS SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME! I mean it’s a good thing I was peeing already otherwise I woulda pissed my fucking pants. I mean just cant go around tossing out hellos when people don’t even know you are there! It literally scares the piss out of them!
Well that’s about all I got so my advice to you is to go do something cool with your life rather than reading this shitty thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment